Locking a large-frame bicycle

There’s no denying it: if WheelieSchatz* were a woman she’d be a big, curvaceous, sexy beast. And like all beautiful women, this makes her just a bit more high-maintenance, though worth the extra effort.

While not a fat tire bike, the frame of my beloved Electra Townie Commute 8D is quite a bit thicker (and heavier) than the frame of most bikes, at least from what I've observed. When faced with obnoxiously thick bike stand rails, locking my bike securely becomes quite the challenge.

Granted, my bike came with a pretty awesome Arbus frame lock, possibly because the designers (engineers?) at Electra saw this dilemma coming. It’s a snazzy device, too. It works by locking the wheel so that even if someone did take the bike they couldn’t ride it.

  

For most people that’s probably enough, especially considering I don’t park my bike at particularly high-risk locations. Still, I spent enough years as a crime reporter and currently spend enough time on Nextdoor.com, where reports of bike thefts from the grocery store I go to are not infrequent, to want to lock my bike properly.

And by “properly” I mean locking the frame to the wheel and both to an immovable object. This blog does a good job explaining why that’s important.

All this is good in principle, of course, but to say it’s been easier said than done is an understatement. I have literally spent more time locking up my bike than doing the errand I biked to. The system I developed and almost have down uses three locks and has the added convenience of securing my Thousand helmet, thanks to its pop lock feature.

Before you even get to the lock(s), though….

Crime reporting taught me if someone really wants your stuff, they’ll get it, locks, security cameras, dogs and yes, often even guns, be damned.

So my philosophy is pretty simple and doesn’t just apply to my bike: A Thieving Bastard may take my stuff, but I’ll make damn sure they have to earn it.

For example, my bike. As stated earlier, I use two U-locks (one of which locks my helmet, so you have to get through that, too) and a frame lock that came with the bike. Sure, if someone really wants WheelieSchatz – and the fallout from my ensuing laser-focused rage – they’ll get her. But I’ll have the small comfort of knowing it’ll be a time-consuming pain in the ass involving multiple tools before Thieving Bastard gets to the point where they can ride her. This allows me the peace of mind to leave my bike for fairly long stretches of time.

Even before getting to locking my bike, however, there are a few things I’ve done to help make it more secure.

Skewers – the not-a-lock security device every bike needs

I -- or rather, Tobias at Rage Cycles -- replaced the quick-release wheel skewers that came with the bike with skewers that require a specific tool to remove. I think they cost less than $20 so it wasn’t a huge investment, even for my meager means. If I'm ever in a situation in which I need quick-release tires, it's simple to put the original skewers back on.

Most burglaries are crimes of opportunity so a wheel skewer’s efficacy lies in the amount of time it adds to stealing a bike tire and the necessity of a Thieving Bastard to have the exact tool needed to take them out. 

Uglify-ing your bike

Some people advise one to make their bike ugly, but obviously, that’s a non-starter for me. You're reading the blog of a woman who is seriously considering emailing Electra about getting touch-up paint for some minor scratches. Still, if it wouldn't bother you that is good general advice.

Baiting 

I prefer to bait my bike. Again, this goes back to the majority of thefts being crimes of opportunity. There is a risk of loss with this, however, so be fully aware of that going in.

Baiting is basically when you leave small items on your bike you won’t be heartbroken about losing. It’s a lot easier to steal a toolkit from a saddle bag, or water bottle, or basket than a whole bike and if someone just wants some scrap metal to sell they’ll be way more tempted to snatch those items rather than messing with taking the entire bike.

The fact of the matter is most bike thefts of really nice bikes are conducted by teams that spend time staking out the bike for several days prior to enacting the theft. So again, if someone out there has decided to take your bike, all you can do is make it harder for them. But a lot of bike parts theft, like tires or seats, are unplanned crimes of opportunity. Of course, if all you have securing your bike is a cable lock that can be snipped with pocket bolt cutters (yes, they exist), why not take the whole bike?

So, all that being understood, how do you deal with needs-a-fix, selling-scrap-or-anything guy passing your bike? First, don't use a cable lock. Second, have losable bait.

To be clear, I’d still be upset about losing any of these items. I like my basket and water bottle and bungee cord or whatever. But even I can afford to replace those, so as long as my bike and all its parts are still there I’ll get over it pretty quickly.

Obviously, however, this does not mean leaving your laptop in its $200 pannier on the bike when you run into the store or something. Bait intentionally.

We have the technology, we can rebuild find it

Another option that can be employed is a GPS tracker, some of which can be hidden within the bike frame and controlled from one’s phone.

Some cities work with local police stations and have registration systems. 

Finally, I recommend getting bike insurance (which I will post about in-depth soon). Homeowners’ insurance is not as comprehensive as you may think. If the worst case scenario does happen, at least you’re not totally starting over in terms of saving up for a bike.

And take it from someone crawling their way out of medical debt from a catastrophic accident that occurred nine years ago: medical debt is a crippling, life-changing thing; don't ever skimp on insurance that covers even part of it if you don't have to. Bicycle insurance offers far better coverage than home or auto insurance when it comes to cycling accidents. 

So, how do you lock your bike though?

First, you’re going to need an extra-long U-lock and even that won’t always help a lot because the bars of often just too thick to get the frame and the wheel through the U. Be prepared to have to contort over your bike to get to the lock. 

Secondly, you may have to make peace with being an asshole who greedily takes up an entire bike stand, like this:

I don’t like doing that and make an honest effort not to. I always try to find stands that aren’t frequently used when I do this and try to make sure someone else has room to lock their bike, too. But at the end of the day, quite frankly, I’m not going to take any chances on my only form of transportation.

Third, you need to think outside of the box. Going through the tires (being very careful not to get your spokes all out of whack), putting the lock upside down with locking mechanism facing the sky, all of these are tactics I employ.

Here's what I've done with various kinds of stands. I have come to deeply appreciate thinner rails. 

Fat rails 

The problem with fat rails is you can lock the frame to stand, or the wheel to the stand, but locking the frame and wheel to the stand gets tricky. I find experimenting with different angles helps, like going up through the wheel to get to the stand bar.

Whenever possible, I try to make sure a Thieving Bastard has to also deal with my helmet.




In this case, it was more about locking the helmet than the rear of the bike because the frame lock was pulling that duty.

Thinner rails 

You'd think this thin-loop-on-the-outside system would be better, but actually, the thickness of the tires gets in the way. 

No Bike Stand at all (boo and hiss, bike stand-less business!)

Since I have my rear frame lock, I felt OK using my helmet lock to secure the front wheel to the frame and my other lock to secure the bike to the fence. Still, this arrangement makes me cranky and I find I don't frequent this establishment as often as I used to.

A final note on bike locks: if you use more than one, get two different brands. At the end of the day all locks are functionally a system of pins, but variance, particularly at the angle the lock entry point is on a bike lock, will matter. 

* For those wondering, my parents are both German so growing up my dad and grandma called me Schatzie. Schatz means "treasure" and is a term of endearment similar to "honey" or "sweetie" here, the "ie" on the end just kind of emphasizes it, sort of a more cute way to say it. So, my bike is WheelieSchatz, because WheeledSchatz wasn't as catchy. And because as a kid my absolute most favorite bike thing to do was pop wheelies while riding down steps.